Wednesday, June 12, 2013
Well it has been over a year since I last wrote on this. Things have not changed much and if I read the last entry I realize that Kirk was suffering just as much last year. The difference this year is he wants to get off the drug that is creating this mess. He wants off Klonopin and on to living. We have either phoned or gone to over 20 places.....the same response is heard. "It is criminal that people have let you be on the amount of medication, for this long, and with a benzodiazapine." Everyone agrees he needs off it, but the system is not willing to take that stand with him and get him off. We have heard too many times it is tough, can kill you and will take a long time. We have also heard.....you need a psychiatrist or you need to do this or take your pick, which med would you like....Right now he is working with a clinic that we thought was going to be the right place. However the doctor literally yelled at us which did not help at all. A difference of opinion, yet someone who is supposed to have the compassion to be an addiction specialist. So now we are back to square one. Back to daily crying, negative talk, and pure depression. He has though reduce the medication by 1/2 pill.....which is major apparently. Some days he has no will to get better and some days he does. Some days he can be functional, but most he can not. He has trouble sleeping and staying focussed on anything. I am at my wits end trying to support him . His mother and I are the only two who really understand him and we could use some help. I want to reach out to our friends and family for support. Phone calls (541-231-0798), texts to same number, comments on here or just time spent with him would be greatly appreciated. I am trying to convince him to go into a medical detox but he is scared and wants to know that his family and friends will be there for him when he comes out and will support him doing this. If he does not I fear he will succumb to this disease and I will feel like we have failed him.
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Think of you guys and pray for you often. *hugs*
ReplyDeleteThanks Danae that means a lot. We do need to connect
DeleteSue
Your entire family as my love. I promise to support you in ANY way you need it. For all your lives you have given to others by teaching them, taking them into your home, or just being there to talk. I am so sorry this is such a scary and difficult time. I am glad you are speaking out in this way.... I hope it helps in some way. Don't stop looking or answers....hopefully all the work pay off.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry to hear this-it sounds really tough. Does the doctor think that medical detox is the thing to do? If so, I'd suggest doing it, as they are usually good at assessing when that would be needed.
ReplyDeleteWith benzo's it's a slow taper off, and building up other management strategies. Clonazepam stays in the body longer, so it takes some time for the body to clear it. If Kirk is coming off the clonazepam, it should be done with the doctor's help as benzo withdrawal needs to managed medically.
I wish there was something I could do, it's tough being in this kind of situation.
I know he has heard all the same things before, but trying to do all the healthy lifestyle stuff-and also including some relaxation and centering/mindfulness techniques will help some-just important to remember that these things won't change mood from a 1 to a 10, but it might lift from a 2 to a 4, and that not expecting huge changes is important. Mood change is slow. I don't know if Kirk has kept a mood/thought diary,that can also be beneficial in tracking and monitoring thought patterns. And setting some realistic goals for the day and week, remembering that when feeling like this that setting goals of showering everyday might be more realistic than doing a marathon!
Anyway, I am sure that Kirk's been trying all of this, it's a struggle, I know.
Let us know if there is anything we can do!